If you had a chance to turn back time and do things differently would you really do it? And where in time would you go? Would you return to your high school days? Your old neighborhood? Relive a special Christmas with your family?
I've thought a lot about time over the weekend. My youngest child (and only son) got married Saturday- and it seemed impossible to me that he could already be reaching this milestone in his life. Wasn't it just yesterday that he played with Ninja Turtles in front of the cartoon channel? ...that he had me tie his shoes, wash his hair, drive him across town?
Yet, there is a peace in knowing he has grown into a man who is independent, successful and kind. Even if that means I am older...Even if that means he no longer relies on me for his happiness.
Turning back time might alter the result. The chance to relive certain days could change the outcome. Would I really want to exchange my son's happiness for a few more years of selfish youth? Would I actually take the chance of my weekend being ordinary?
Because it's not everyday you get to dance with your son- to feel his square jaw and freshly shaven whiskers on your shoulder- to look into his eyes and see yourself and your husband-and a brilliant light that is unmistakably love. It's not everyday you feel satisfied that time has done it's job.
I am blessed that God's plan has seen me through this most wonderful of moments- that the future is wide and beautiful and full for him and his bride. I would never take that away from him for any trip back through time!
My happiness today surpasses any lost moments of the past. I am suddenly content with growing old- knowing he has the chance before him to live an amazing life.
Go back in time?
If I could simply go back without changing anything- to just relive the moments exactly as they were- I might.
I might go back to a day of Ninja Turtles and cartoons- and to a boy I loved with all my heart. A boy that grew up with dreams and hopes and a zest for life.
I would probably hold him on my lap again- squeeze him into a hug- kiss his soft, round face where there are no whiskers, and whisper to him, "Fly..."
3 comments:
Beautiful post. :) I too sometimes wonder about going back in time, but ultimately - I wouldn't. I'm content with wonderful memories. And now.... it's THEIR time.
Going back in time really, really would have to be a long-term study, I think...there are so very many times that I should love to be "transported" to...Memories would begin to swim and I would want to trade one for another, I suppose...I like the thought that you mentioned of "re-living" certain times...not changing, just re-living and feeling that special time...Wonderful posting, dear blog friend and lifetime bud...I extend the very best to the newlyweds and to you for your generous heart...(((Nice digs here, too!))..See you...
hi rae its me barb, i love your post about Jake and his new wife, it must of been quite a wedding from what i hear,,, dont ever let go of that little boy inside your heart,,,,,keep his memories fresh,,,,,,,, he is starting a new journey and it is a good one.... Pray for him daily,,,,,, love him from far off but always let him know and his beautiful wife that you love them
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